抓住校園孤獨癥的元兇

　　Being away from home and high school friends, lonely college freshmen need to make new friends as soon as possible. However, many find it difficult. They don't realize that minor things, such as a curtain around the bed, wearing earphones or having a stubbly beard can affect interpersonal relationships.

　　離開了家人和中學(xué)時代的朋友，孤單的大學(xué)新生需要盡快結(jié)交新朋友。不過，許多人都覺得這并不容易。他們沒有意識到很多小事也會影響到人際關(guān)系，例如床簾，塞著耳機(jī)或是留著胡茬。

　　In the MyCOS and Tencent survey of more than 12,000 college freshmen from December 2010 to March 2011, almost four in every 10 were worried by relationships. The two top concerns relate to members of the opposite sex and to roommates.

　　根據(jù)麥可思和騰訊在2010年12月到2011年3月間對超過12000名大學(xué)生進(jìn)行的調(diào)查，幾乎每10人中就有4人擔(dān)憂人際關(guān)系。其中兩個首要擔(dān)憂涉及與異性和室友的交往。

　　Xiao Yibo, 19, a freshman in bioengineering at Northeast Agricultural University, is upset that trivial things spoiled his relations with roommates and classmates.

　　19歲的肖逸波(音譯)是東北農(nóng)業(yè)大學(xué)生物工程系的大一新生，瑣碎的事情破壞了他和室友以及同學(xué)間的關(guān)系，這讓他很沮喪。

　　Xiao has been estranged from his roommate and former buddy because he was short-tempered with him for dawdling before leaving for classes. Instead of talking about the problem, Xiao bit his tongue, but looked impatient.

　　肖已經(jīng)和他以前的好朋友兼室友疏遠(yuǎn)了，因為室友去上課之前磨磨蹭蹭讓他受不了。肖忍著什么也沒說而不是去找室友好好談?wù)�，但是卻表現(xiàn)出來非常不耐煩。

　　Xiao felt hard done by when some classmates gave him the cold shoulder after he decided to study harder. He sat in the front row in class and regularly visited the library.

　　在肖決定要更加努力地學(xué)習(xí)后，一些同學(xué)對他態(tài)度冷淡，這讓他覺得很不公平。他上課坐在第一排，并經(jīng)常去圖書館。

　　"They thought I wanted to appear different and to show off. But I don't think it's necessary to explain it to them," said Xiao. "I'll go my own way, whether they understand me or not." He chose to be a loner, going to classes and to the library on his own.

　　肖說："他們認(rèn)為我是想要表現(xiàn)得與眾不同，是在炫耀。但是我覺得沒必要向他們解釋。不管他們能不能理解我，我都會繼續(xù)走我自己的路。"他選擇了獨來獨往，一個人去上課，一個人去圖書館。

　　Xiao is just one of the growing numbers of young loners nowadays. They seem to care little about others, shut down communication and indulge in their own worlds.

　　肖只是如今日益增多的年輕獨行者之一。他們似乎不太在意其他人，封閉了與他人的交流并沉溺在自己的世界里。

　　"But they actually feel sad at 'being excluded'," said Bai Jingxiang, a psychology tutor at China Women's University. "In fact, it's they themselves who build 'walls'."

　　中華女子學(xué)院心理學(xué)導(dǎo)師白靜祥表示："但他們實際上因被孤立而感到很難過，其實，是他們自己建起了這堵墻。"學(xué)生們或許沒有意識到一些小事和微妙的姿態(tài)都可能成為人際關(guān)系障礙。

　　Take the curtains which female students love to surround their beds with to create private zones as an example.

　　舉個例子，一些女學(xué)生喜歡在床的四周圍上簾子以創(chuàng)造出私人空間。

　　Luo Guoxin, 18, a freshman in business administration at Northeast Normal University, used to have a curtain to protect her privacy. So did all the other roommates in her dorm.

　　18歲的羅郭新(音譯)是東北師范大學(xué)企業(yè)管理系的大一新生，她曾經(jīng)用簾子來保護(hù)自己的隱私。她宿舍的室友也都掛上了簾子。

　　But Luo gradually felt restricted by the cloth. "I didn't know whether a roommate was sleeping or awake behind her curtain, so I dared not chat with others in the dorm," Luo recalled.

　　但是羅漸漸覺得被這塊布阻隔了。羅回憶說："我不知道簾子內(nèi)的室友是睡著了還是醒著，所以我不敢和宿舍里的其他人聊天。"

　　Neither did she dare to talk about any roommate. "What if the girl suddenly lifted up the curtain and appeared?" said Luo.

　　她也不敢談?wù)撈渌�室友。羅說："如果那個女孩突然掀起簾子出現(xiàn)了怎么辦?"

　　Luo and a roommate couldn't stand the suffocating silence and removed their curtains. The two feel closer to each other than to other roommates for they enjoyed more communication.

　　羅和另一位室友受不了宿舍里令人窒息的寂靜，便取下了她們的簾子。由于她倆有了更多的交流，她們覺得彼此間比和其他室友更親近了。

　　"The curtain is a sign saying 'stay away from me' even if it's transparent," said Bai. It is the same with the textbook you hold in front of your chest when chatting. And the earphones you put on when your roommates make too much noise. These are all hints of unfriendliness.

　　白表示："就算簾子是透明的，它也表示'離我遠(yuǎn)點'。"和別人聊天時把課本抱在胸前也有同樣的含義。還有當(dāng)室友太吵時，你戴上的耳機(jī)。這些都是不友好的暗示。

　　Some students may argue that they mean well when they choose to put on earphones to give roommates a hint instead of complaining about the noise.

　　一些學(xué)生可能會爭辯說，比起抱怨室友太吵，他們選擇戴上耳機(jī)來暗示室友是善意的。

　　But Bai warned that silent hints might make others more uncomfortable than honest words.

　　但是白提醒道，無聲的暗示可能會比直接說出來讓人覺得更不舒服。

　　"When there is a smell from dirty clothes in the dorm, the worst thing you could do is to suddenly stand up and use a room spray," said Bai. "You will appear as a fussy person."

　　白稱："當(dāng)宿舍里的臟衣服發(fā)出難聞的氣味時，最糟糕的莫過于你突然站起來噴空氣清新劑。這會顯得你是個挑剔的人。"

　　A better solution may be to mention the importance of cleanliness, without naming names, when people chill out.

　　更好的解決方式或許是當(dāng)大家冷靜下來，不指名道姓地提一提清潔衛(wèi)生的重要性。

【抓住校園孤獨癥的元兇】相關(guān)文章：

如何抓住領(lǐng)導(dǎo)的心10-28

抓住懷孕“黃金”時刻08-28

怎樣抓住男人的心11-01

抓住人心弦的求職簡歷10-28

抓住細(xì)節(jié)優(yōu)秀教學(xué)設(shè)計09-16

簡歷寫作要抓住重點08-31

讓你的簡歷抓住HR眼球10-29

好簡歷，快速抓住人眼球！08-27

企業(yè)如何抓住幸福文化管理09-11

求職面試抓住HR的心指南07-14